Pro.cras.tin.a.tion.

Can you make cat food in there too?

2010-03-26T12:27:00.000-05:00

Pretty sure this is the saddest thing I've even seen. And I've seen that ASPCA commercial with Sarah Mclachlan a lot!

From what I understand (via VH1), the 80's were all about convenience. And speed. Not speed like the drug. More like speed like cocaine. Lots of cocaine! And Member's Only jackets. And microwaves. People baked cakes in microwaves, not just Hot Pockets and aluminum foil (NOTE: Don't do that. I won't be responsible for another dorm fire)! Apparently, according to this lady, if you're living alone you have no time for ovens are stoves. Don't even buy one! You're too busy to maintain it! Just buy a microwave as big as your car, that's all you need to cook biscuits and bacon and eggs and strawberry jam (yes, strawberry jam).
Don't forget the salt that you like so much on your eggs (that you eat alone):

"... hi mom."

2009-09-17T10:06:00.000-05:00

Relationship Survival Guide: Pick Up Lines - Watch more Funny Videos

Can't believe I haven't seen this before.

2009-09-08T11:57:00.000-05:00

I made this

2009-09-04T21:35:00.000-05:00

Chairlift makes a good song really scary

2009-08-29T11:49:00.002-05:00

With people writhing around on the floor dressed in garbage bags in a dark room with a concrete floor. Great tune, though:

Oh, I had no idea.

2009-08-19T15:21:00.001-05:00

Gwyneth Paltrow/Goop parody, still the worst

2009-08-17T10:49:00.001-05:00

And when I say the worst, I really mean the best, but also the worst. Get it? No? ...whatever.

Gwyneth Paltrow Makes Chicken Goop.com with Abby Elliott from Abby Elliott

Memory Cassette - "Surfin'" / "Body In The Water"

2009-08-11T15:37:00.001-05:00

Typical old video set to typical trippy electronica. But I like this:

SURFIN'/BODY IN THE WATER-MEMORY CASSETTE from PAT VAMOS on Vimeo.

RIP John Hughes :(

2009-08-06T16:23:00.002-05:00

Even over 20 years after Ferris Bueller came out, it's still the coolest thing ever.
In memory of him, I revisited this today:

My new favorite gif

2009-08-04T15:05:00.000-05:00

Via: Best Week Ever

Four Tops - Baby I Need Your Lovin'

2009-07-29T00:13:00.003-05:00

This is a really old song. If you haven't already noticed. But I've always had a thing for Motown.

VITALIC - Your Disco Song

2009-07-21T13:29:00.002-05:00

Only in my dreams could I be this disco. Well, maybe I'll just have to get that "breast augmentation" she has. Whatevs. Good song.

Via: Hipster Runoff

Rupert Holmes - Him

2009-07-16T14:34:00.003-05:00

For someone who wrote a song about attempting to cheat on their significant other pre-Ashley Madison, he really seems to be mad at his girlfriend for boning another guy. Still, good song.

So, apparently all New Age-ers have gay lisps/ sound like the Church Lady

2009-07-16T01:31:00.003-05:00

See? And I'm sad to say Satan won the war of really bad 80's hair plaguing christian bands. You can't win 'em all.

P.S. I have seen Star Wars and The Karate Kid.

Making the Italian Mafia fun and dance-able.

2009-07-07T11:54:00.001-05:00

Mafia spa _ Postal_m@rket from Kalimera on Vimeo.

Isn't this the coolest thing you've ever seen? Anyone know what song they're using?
Via: Videogum

Uh oh, I've been playing with photoshop again...

2009-07-01T11:06:00.002-05:00

Goats are God's little punchline

2009-07-01T01:07:00.000-05:00

Come (cum)

2009-06-27T10:33:00.002-05:00

With a little remixin', you can turn a kids show into something wildly innapropriate

Via: Everything Is Terrible

RIP MJ

2009-06-26T10:13:00.002-05:00

;(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjtI2WZTZ9k

Men with no penises CAN protect themselves from lusty women

2009-06-09T18:45:00.001-05:00

Because they're so scared. It's a real problem:

0:08 to 0:16 LOLZ.

Empire of the Sun - "We Are The People"

2009-05-25T12:26:00.002-05:00

Now, you may say Empire of the Sun is basically the Kiwi version of MGMT, which they kind of are since they came out at the same time, have a psychedelic look, and falsetto voices (I could probably go on) but I've got the album and it's really great and I'm surprised it wasn't more well known (probably because of the MGMT relation). This is the second single (I believe, someone could correct me) from their debut album, and the songs great, but there are even greater songs on the album.

Grizzly Bear - "Two Weeks"

2009-05-22T15:37:00.002-05:00

This is already an awesome song, now there's an ever awesome-er video to go along with it. Everyone has greasy, bloated faces, which is so cool... for some, uh, reason. But I like it!

Two Weeks

Via: Stereogum

Hypnosis for pervs

2009-05-22T15:15:00.002-05:00

I'm telling you, I'm so glad I wasn't the age I am now during the '80s to mid '90s. I've seen a bunch of horrible "how to pick up women" videos on Everything Is Terrible (like the one where men use magic tricks that I posted a while back), and they're all from that time period. I'm not saying there aren't pervs today, but I think these DYI videos are out of fashion.

This one is probably the worst in terms of creeper-ness. The guy finds a hypnosis victim and then gets her to have sex with him. Oh, it's important to know she's imagining herself having sex with a statue, not the guy who forced himself upon her.

The narrator of this is probably the worst person ever:

I can hear him now, in a creepy Bela Lugosi voice: "Pull da strings! PULL DA STRINGS!"

Via: Video Home Systems

Friend - "Doki"

2009-05-21T13:08:00.003-05:00

Such a simple video, yet complex with the colors and whatnot. I like it.

FRIEND - DOKI from FRIEND on Vimeo.

Maybe I'm not crazy...

2009-05-10T23:26:00.002-05:00

... and the fact that I think Forgetting Sarah Marshall could be one of the best comedies ever... which doesn't sound realistic. I mean, yeah, it's part of the Judd Aptow slacker movie genre, with some of the typical characters, but it's just so good. Even Roeper put it on his favorite comedies list. So I guess I'm not the only one.

Best line: "When life gives you lemons, you say 'Fuck the lemons!' and bail!"

Don't we all, Kunu.

OMG, Troll 2 is becoming The Room

2009-05-05T17:22:00.002-05:00

Only that The Room might be a little better. I mean, Troll 2 is comically bad, where The Room is actually trying, but is bad anyway. Point is, I finally know I'm not the only one:

Best Worst Movie Trailer from Best Worst Movie on Vimeo.

It's like a bad comedy seizure

2009-05-02T14:58:00.001-05:00

Plus Howie Mandel. Get the tongue guard out.

The Golden Girls just got even better

2009-05-02T14:38:00.002-05:00

Perfect timing for this to come out, since Bea Arthur passed away this last weekend (bless her soul). Kind of "Aphex-Twin" creepy, but totally rad:

I have some kind of moron problem

2009-04-23T19:27:00.001-05:00

And that might be one of my favorite lines ever:

Didn't Tattoo kill himself?

2009-04-14T15:55:00.002-05:00

I thought so. But he wasn't a teen when he did it, even though he looked tiny.

Via: Everything Is Terrible

Because batons are so much scarier than knives.

2009-04-07T12:29:00.003-05:00

That guy who runs out of his car with the machete makes me think that's what it looked like when that guy in Canada beheaded the passenger on the Greyhound bus. I think you know what I'm referencing. Anyway, I lol'd at this for a sustained period of time:

Via: Everything Is Terrible

Yeah, I don't know.

2009-04-02T12:41:00.002-05:00

I guess it's people lifting weights with their genitals. I mean, that's what the title suggests, and I think that's what I'm seeing. Make your own judgement:

Via: Videogum

It's just the same chorus over, and over.

2009-03-24T14:10:00.002-05:00

I mean, it seems like it. Plus, the gratuitous standing-on-a-beach-with-an-open-shirt-swaying-in-the-breeze shots are so good.

Via: Everything Is Terrible

Dee D. Jackson - "Automatic Lover"

2009-03-24T13:48:00.002-05:00

You know, today in Japan they have these robots who, I guess, you can have sex with. But, wait a second- looks like Dee D. Jackson beat them to the punch in the 70's with an "Automatic Lover." Although I must say, the robot keeps interrupting her while she's singing, and it's gets really annoying by about 1:45.

Via: Best Week Ever

Paul Rudd and Jason Segal need to get over each other.

2009-03-19T13:39:00.002-05:00

They're got this bromance going on right now with the release of their movie "I Love You, Man" (see? Even the movie is promoting their love for each other) and it's starting to get old, but this is pretty funny. I don't care who you are, you will always think farts are funny.

Via: Best Week Ever

My Top 25 Played Songs on iTunes

2009-03-19T12:48:00.002-05:00

I just discovered I had a list of the top 25 songs that I've played on iTunes. Which the list even surprises me (Eyes by Rogue Wave 15 times? Pfffft):

25.) Dream Academy - Power To Believe

24.) Death Cab For Cutie - Grapevine Fires

Death Cab For Cutie |MTV Music

23.) Death Cab For Cutie - Cath...

Death Cab For Cutie |MTV Music

22.) Daft Punk - Make Love

21.) Chairlift - Planet Health

20.) Cat Power - The Greatest

19.) Brazilian Girls - Good Time

18.)The Bird and The Bee - Birthday

17.) Beirut - Elephant Gun

Beirut |MTV Music

16.) Beck - Gamma Ray

Beck |MTV Music

15.) Oingo Boingo - Private Life

Oingo Boingo |MTV Music

14.) Coldplay - Clocks

Coldplay |MTV Music

13.) Boards of Canada - Roygbiv

12.) Air - Once Upon A Time

Air |MTV Music

11.) Ultravox - Vienna

10.) M.I.A. - Paper Planes

M.I.A. |MTV Music

9.) Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks

8.) Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Gold Lion

Yeah Yeah Yeahs |MTV Music

7.) Whitley - A Shot To The Stars

6.) Split Enz - I Got You

Split Enz |MTV Music

5.) Ravens & Chimes - January

4.) Rogue Wave - Eyes

3.) MGMT - Electric Feel

MGMT |MTV Music

2.) Chromatics - In The City

Aaaannnnnddd (drum role please...)

1.) Grizzly Bear - Knife

Grizzly Bear |MTV Music

Daymare!

2009-03-18T11:59:00.002-05:00

I haven't laughed outloud at Tim and Eric in a while (not that I'm not enjoying it, it just takes a lot of effort to make me laugh outloud if I'm not flirting with guy (then it's really easy)), but this clip from last week made me laugh like no other. The idea is great.

John Krasinski looks hot with a beard.

2009-03-17T12:57:00.002-05:00

Not sure if I would like this. I feel like it's trying to hard to be indie. But maybe not. I'm borderline.

I'll never look at household chores the same way again.

2009-03-17T12:29:00.000-05:00

So thanks, Steve Agee.

Extreme Chores - Vacuuming the Living Room from Steve Agee on Vimeo.

Via: Videogum

Frat boys fight anti-gay protests instead of joining them

2009-03-11T12:21:00.002-05:00

This actually made my heart swell. I was never really super supportive of gay rights until later last year, when I started having more gay friends and felt more passionate about their rights. And this is just hilarious too. I've seen these signs at my campus before, it's not the same people, but same idea.

Note: It won't embed for me, so here's the link.Copy and paste, my friend:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZfZiBRFM5w

Dracula's Lament is sooo fucking funny, even when you'd think it wouldn't be

2009-03-06T13:40:00.002-06:00

I thought I'd hate this movie, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but I saw it a couple months ago and thought it was hilarious. Finally, I get to see a penis on camera. For longer than 1 second. And it's not prosthetic. But that's not the point, it's really funny. And Jason Segel's character writes this musical with puppets about Dracula, and he plays this song in a bar for this girl he likes. It's a lot funnier in the movie, but here's a video of him performing it live with Paul Rudd.

Via: Videogum

Guy glues shit to his head, makes art

2009-03-04T18:51:00.002-06:00

In some of these pictures I'm wondering if he can even breath with all this stuff on his face. His name is Levi Van Veluw, who's Dutch (of course), and this is his art (and I actually like this, it's bittersweet I think):

WTF moment of the day:

2009-03-04T18:40:00.001-06:00

Computer Beach Party!

2009-03-04T08:14:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I don't know. Good thing I'm not the mayor's daughter.

MGMT's "Kids" on iphones, horrible.

2009-03-03T12:34:00.002-06:00

I give them props for trying it, but most of those girls couldn't even follow the correct rhythm (I think I'm just sensitive to things like that) and that annoys the hell out of me. Still neat, although it gets a little annoying about half way through.

Via: Videogum

Foreign pop music has the funniest lyrics, or maybe the smartest?

2009-03-02T12:00:00.002-06:00

Last Saturday night (actually Sunday morning) a couple of my friends and I stayed up until about 5 am, but in the process we caught this cable TV show on some channel I've never heard of, and it was like TRL for foreign music. There were videos from Greece, Mexico, and my favorite, India. The lyrics were posted in english near the bottom of the screen, and I noticed how... old they sounded. Like something about blowing in a conch shell, and the glistening of your earring like the rising sun, and some other stuff like that. Also, the story line of the video is that a man and woman are in love, and later the woman discovers she has HIV. So, whatever that has to do with a conch shell, I have no idea.

I only mention it because a.) It's funny, and b.) Flight of the Conchordes did this video in one of their newest episodes, making fun of Karaoke, but it's in Korean, and the english lyrics are exactly what I'm talking about. But then again, are the lyrics to pop music in America just stupid? Have we begun to lose ourselves in words like "Baby" and "love" "wazzupwichu? (horrible song by Eddie Murphy and the king of pop and facial deformation, Michael Jackson)" Maybe conch shells are more useful than we think?

Via: Videogum

Francis Ford Coppola spins around in his chair, talks about some movie

2009-02-27T13:12:00.002-06:00

Make of this what you want. I think he's just bored. And I think I have motion sickness.

Via: Best Week Ever

Japan tries to mindfuck people with gay porn

2009-02-27T12:05:00.001-06:00

Yeah, I don't exactly what this is, but from what I think I understand, it's just a choppy version of gay Japanese porn. I think. Also moderately NSFW:

Via: Videogum

You're no human, you're just a product!

2009-02-26T14:08:00.001-06:00

...According to this:

The first 15 seconds make me laugh, so I knew this would be good. I love how so much time is spend on making videos and speeches on how to look better and work better in the work force, but to be honest, every time I've dealt with any employee from any place I've ever been to, they never follow these ideas or strategies. They're all assholes and bitches. But, anyway...

Via: Everything Is Terrible

The worst lip syncing ever, probably.

2009-02-26T13:57:00.004-06:00

I guess this is a cute song, I mean, it's about charity and all, but aren't you supposed to hold the mic near your mouth when you sing? And I don't think that little boy really owns those glasses, or maybe they were donated to him (sorry)?

P.S. - I believe you're not really supposed to brag about donating things or doing acts of charity as a christian. But what do I know?

Via: Videogum

Tim and Eric Review, Awesome Show!

2009-02-25T20:08:00.003-06:00

Ah... this episode is sooo refreshing, since it's actually funny for once. So excited to see this last Sunday. The episode's called "Universe," with a running story of Tim and Eric as scientists (?) talking about the universe, of course, and its amazingness.

This was my least favorite part of the episode. I like the idea of the celebrity impersonators (reminds me of how everything is kind of just a little off on this show, which is what makes it so great).

Don't tell me you haven't seen a science show once before and though, wow, these people are just pulling these comparisons out of their ass. Exactly. And easily the best universe section of the show.

Final rating: I'd give this a A. Not perfect enough for an A+, but definitely of my favorite episodes in a long time.

I hope they keep this idea running. I love Dunn and his mispronunciations. And DLH talking about oral sex.

I saw this at the show. Pretty funny, but now it's getting a little old.

Who knew women were dark and massive?

I saw this at the show too, but this never gets old. Favorite line: "I'm not gonna feed you to my family!"

Ehh. Whatever.

Kind of awkward. But it's pretty reasonable that Eric would have that reactive to thinking about the universe.

Depeche Mode - "Wrong"

2009-02-25T20:01:00.002-06:00

OK, I admit it, I LOVE this song and might be mildly obsessed with it. And the video is REALLY great, I think. Sorry about all the stupid text at the beginning, I hate that shit too:

The Bird and the Bee - "Love Letter To Japan"

2009-02-23T19:51:00.001-06:00

I love this song, so pop-ish and silly, kind of. Still, DDR's a little outdated.

The Bird & The Bee - Love Letter To Japan

DM's back!

2009-02-23T12:01:00.002-06:00

Yay! Not only is Depeche Mode coming out with a new CD (and here's video of the newest single, "Wrong"), but they actually sound like Depeche Mode! None more of this 90's reinvention crap. Thank gawd.

Will Ferrell was on Eastbound & Down

2009-02-23T11:53:00.002-06:00

If my college offered HBO and Showtime for $10 extra a month, and I had that $10, I would totally do it. I would. Because I'm missing out on comedy gold.

Although Ferrell feels a little miscast in this, and starts talking nonsense about 1/4 the way through, but it's still funny. And you've got to love the muzak version of "More Than A Feeling" playing in the background.

Via: Videogum

Who knew Seseme Street could be creepy?

2009-02-20T15:27:00.002-06:00

Well, it was, when this video game came out. I remember playing it when I was like, 9, since we didn't have a NES when it first came out. So all the games were super easy. But don't tell me this doesn't creep anyone out, especially the part where Big Bird is hopping around an abandoned amusement park at night.

Patrick Swayze looks bad

2009-02-19T19:29:00.002-06:00

Poor guy. I'm not really a big fan of his but I feel horrible for him that he has cancer. I'd say I hope he gets better but I kind of doubt that will happen.

Via: TMZ

So true.

2009-02-19T08:32:00.001-06:00

This made me laugh hard core last night. Who knew TMZ could be legitimately funny?

Tim and Eric Review, Awesome Show!

2009-02-18T10:43:00.002-06:00

I've decided to start reviewing each episode of Tim and Eric as it comes out (even though I suspect this will be their last season because they seen to have several other projects coming up) since my friend and I do it anyway (we're very critical/obsessed).

This weekend, "Balls" premiered as the second episode of this fourth ("quad") season. And I think it should be mentioned that it seems that the first episode of each season is always the weakest (except for maybe the second season), so I was expecting this to be better than last week, and it was.

It started out with this segment, "Pick The Nipple," which I thought was kind of gross, but I totally understand why it's in the show.

Doesn't that background music creep anyone out other than me? Anyway, whatever, it was my least favorite part of the show.

Then we learn that Eric had a third ball ("3-T Scroat") attacked to his body, for "pizzaz" and other side-effects. I love how jumbled this segment is, thanks to Doug's editing, which is always amazing and amusing

Then came the Cinco Urinal Shower. I saw this at the show, and I thought it was pretty good. Borderline poop humor, and I gotta love the janitor. He does a little rap in there which is so good, but otherwise this is alright.

This next part, Whoopsie Daisy, was probably my favorite part from the episode. I love how it's making fun of shows like "Candid Camera" or "Howie Do It." You know, those shows with their punchy sound effects and "let's-see-that-again-36-times." I wish they would have replayed some of those falls even more, although I guess eventually enough is enough.

This segment shows a little of Tim and Eric's actual, non-edited humor without special effects. It's not hilarious, but I enjoy seeing this.

This song was OK, but the best part was the before and after pictures. That made me laugh more than anything, for some reason.

This just shows how cooky and weird some of the horrible actors they put on their show really are. I didn't realize this until I met David Liebe Hart. Weird experience, but anyway.

Finally, Eric gets rid of his third ball through "the power of lamaze." You'd think they were gay with each other off the set if you didn't know Tim and Eric's history with each other. They get in some very interesting positions.

Overall, I'd give this episode a B. It was alright, there were a couple funny moments, but I'm definitely missing their really great stuff.

Colbert was on Conan last night, I missed it

2009-02-18T10:18:00.003-06:00

Two of the funniest men on television... well, if I'm really going to go there, then I'd say maybe not, but still hilarious.

The Tonight Show better be just like Late Night. I hope Conan doesn't lose his humor just because it's easier for old people to stay up and watch his show. I'd be disappointed.

Via: Videogum

This played during "Idiocracy" last night. Irony?

2009-02-16T21:01:00.002-06:00

My friends and I are just amazed by this. What's going on? Is the bottle

giving him a BJ? Is his jizz the 6 hour Power drink? If he says he's ready,

then how can he be if he just jizzed/ got a BJ? Is that his wife in the

photo?

Anyone have a solution to any of these questions?

The new video for Fever Ray stars a hippie version of that creepy girl from The Ring

2009-02-16T11:59:00.002-06:00

When I Grow Up from Fever Ray on Vimeo.

I guess their songs are getting less... demented. And just better overall. Still love them.

Via: Stereogum

If a guy gave me this for Valentine's Day, I'd be all like, ...OK.

2009-02-13T10:02:00.001-06:00

P.S. Who wears a thin undershirt to work when you work in a cubical? Maybe he's the janitor using someone's computer while the other guy's in the john?

Via: Videogum

80's date rape for douchebags

2009-02-12T12:26:00.003-06:00

This is a pure gem of horrible... everything. This video gives tips (are they good tips? No.) on how to pick up women and what impresses women, and it's just a big mess of bad acting and awkwardness.

A good place to meet women is in the woods? Seriously? I hope they were at least semi-joking about that or that they really meant on a camping trip or a bar in... the woods. Otherwise this is targeting really creeps. Is this produced my Ted Bundy?

And going for a feel in the middle of a restaurant? Why don't you just fuck her on the table for everyone to see?

Look at this guy from the introduction. I don't think he knows what sex is. He looks scared to death:

And this woman on the left is obviously creeped out by the guy standing in the middle. I don't even think he was invited to be part of the video, he just moseyed on up to see what was going on and to try to convince those women to meet him at a bar in the woods.

This whole video is just wrong on so many levels.

Via: Videogum

Is this how Patrick Swayze has sex?

2009-02-11T18:38:00.001-06:00

This is funny because one, it's just funny, and two, I'm playing a couple songs off the Dirty Dancing soundtrack for my show this week, so it only reminds me more about how gay yet not gay Patrick Swayze's dancing is.

Via: Everything Is Terrible

This is Jacques Cousteau's grandson:

2009-02-11T18:29:00.001-06:00

I don't think I need to say anything else.

Little girl narrates kittens, my ovaries explode

2009-02-11T18:19:00.002-06:00

I love little kids. I mean, actually they can be really annoying, but they certainly say the darnest things. Like this little girl.

I wish I had her wit.

Via: Doctorklein

Of course, human bachelors are just like spiders

2009-02-10T13:50:00.003-06:00

They shed skin like... bachelors do. And... wrap up flies for women? I don't get this. It WAS the '30's.

Also, the narrator of this has to know this video is ridiculous because he just seems to be playing up his voice to add to the overall humor.

Supposidly these early "Sex-ed" videos are coming out on DVD soon. Does this remind anyone of "Reefer Madness?"

Via: Best Week Ever

Paul Rudd was in some shitty Chinese movie, dyes his hair blond-ish

2009-02-10T13:41:00.002-06:00

I will forgive him for this. I think in 2000, he really didn't have much work. When "40 Year Old Virgin" rolled around, then he had his comeback.

I don't know if I can forgive the hair though. It's... ug.

Via: Videogum

Michael Cera "flips out," I'm pretty sure he's trying to dupe us.

2009-02-09T11:53:00.001-06:00

Seriously, could you ever see Michael Cera being pissed at anyone? Anytime? I don't think so. He's too sweet/laid back for that. Judge for yourself:

New Lonely Island Video - "I'm On A Boat"

2009-02-09T11:21:00.001-06:00

Not as great as "Jizz In My Pants," but T-Pain's solo is pretty hilarious. Poor Jorma.

I miss old Destiny's Child.

2009-02-06T19:47:00.000-06:00

Destiny's Child |MTV Music

PB&J - "Nothing To Worry About"

2009-02-06T10:53:00.001-06:00

I love this. I mean, that hair!

Peter Bjorn and John "Nothing To Worry About"

Via: Stereogum

Michael Phelps douchbag-iness finally ends.

2009-02-05T22:45:00.002-06:00

No, this isn't real, of course. Hilarious though.

I honestly don't care whether Phelps smokes pot or not, it's none of my business (I don't really see anything wrong with weed anyway), but I've always thought he was a BIG douchebag, like Father Douchebag or Douchebag of the Rings (Sorry, this is the best I can do at 10:46 pm). I think he's finally being put in his place by being punished. I think, though, they should have punished him for excessive douchebaging and not pot. But whatevs.

"I'm a pirate! Shiver me timbers!"

2009-02-05T15:51:00.001-06:00

So hilarious. Ad making fun of the New York Post commercial for the Tribeca Film Festival.

OK, now he's just mocking us.

2009-02-05T12:39:00.002-06:00

Yeah, it's Mickey Rourke again.

I do admit though that I like that jacket. Wouldn't wear it all the time, just when, you know, no one's around to see it. The hat, mmm, not so much.

I'm officially disturbed.

2009-02-04T14:02:00.002-06:00

This is Jude Law:

Am I the only one who thinks this looks like Debra Winger? Yeah, probably. Still... unexpected.

Via: Best Week Ever

Ga ga ga ga ga ga ga!

2009-02-03T19:25:00.002-06:00

You have no idea how hot this picture is. Or maybe you do. Jon Hamm's smokin' hot.

Canadians can't act, apparently.

2009-02-03T16:14:00.003-06:00

'Not hatin'. 'Just sayin'.

And the jaw on that woman could cut steel. And no, not all browsers look like Netscape, thank God.

Via: Everything Is Terrible

Langerado was canceled.

2009-02-03T16:11:00.001-06:00

So stop fucking rubbing it in, website:

Note: I wasn't planning on going or anything, it just makes me feel bad for the people who were.

Angela Lansbury will ruin your erection.

2009-02-03T14:47:00.001-06:00

This is from some relaxation video she did. It's pretty disturbing.

Trailer for "Year One" looks historically accurate.

2009-02-03T13:16:00.004-06:00

Well, not really. I always find it funny how people make fun of cavemen, and then it seems like every time I mention cavemen (I mean Neanderthals) I get scolded because I'm being too "biased" and insensitive (even when I don't make a joke). So I love that I can finally laugh at "primitive" humans and can get away with it (I don't expect to see any of my professors in the theater. It's probably too "low-brow" for them. That's an anthropology joke. Never mind).

The first part of this trailer just makes me laugh for the reason that Michael Cera with long hair and that expression on his face is just great. Forget Jack Black, just make a movie of Michael Cera with long hair walking around the woods in 1 A.D. Oh, and also keep Paul Rudd in there for any sex scenes. Not with Michael Cera though.

Only if resisting temptation was as easy as glancing the other way.

2009-02-03T13:07:00.002-06:00

What really creeps me out about this is that cat puppet (Lion? Mountain Lion? Bear?) is so skittish when the guy in the overalls puts him arm around him, like it brought back memories of... a situation he'd like to bury under years of suppression and alcohol. I guess someone was tempted...

Via: Videogum

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Season Four Teaser!

2009-02-02T19:16:00.001-06:00

Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Season Quad! from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

Me me I'm a season four whore!

Kevin Trudeau thinks we're all a bunch of retards.

2009-01-30T20:49:00.002-06:00

When I was in middle school and for about half of high school, I had this best friend who lived in town, and I was always over at her house. Her dad was real nice, but he may be the biggest schmuck I've ever met, because when Kevin Trudeau came out with his book about how the pharmaceutical are trying to rob everyone, he totally bought into it and got the book. And I remember him always lecturing me on how I shouldn't go to the doctor, shouldn't take medicine my doctor prescribed me, blah blah fucking blah. Once I actually got old enough to notice that something was fishy here, I researched this guy, and it turns out he the biggest loser on the planet. He's been in jail several times for stealing money off of other people's credit cards and coming up with these ridiculous schemes to make money and to sucker people into it.

Everything Is Terrible finally posted an infomercial he did a long time ago, and if you watch it, it sounds like the most terrible business plan ever. But it's OK, because he makes it really simple so ignorant, naive viewers will be ooohed and ahhed by this Microsoft paint diagram.

What a fucking loser. I hope he rots in hell. Well, at least there's someone there to make him sit though a 3 hour seminar to get you to try and buy something. Yeah, that's better.

Maybe the most awkward music video ever?

2009-01-30T20:42:00.002-06:00

Although I'd love to be in Peter Gabriel's arms. How lucky Kate Bush is.

I think this speaks for itself.

2009-01-30T09:47:00.002-06:00

From some Australian newspaper. Actually took me a couple seconds to get.

P.S. Obama with that baby? CUTE OVERLOAD! I want him as my baby daddy fer sure now.

How offensive can you get, NY Post?

2009-01-30T09:32:00.002-06:00

I guess because of all this "Jessica Simpson is fat" controversy, NY Post put together a slideshow of "fat" celebrities. Which, granted, some of them are overweight or obese, but there are a couple (Elisha Cuthbert, Rachel Hunter, etc.) that aren't fat! I guess there are different definitions of "fat," and I guess mine doesn't exactly match up with NY Post. It's an interesting slide show.

http://www.nypost.com/photos/galleries/gossip/celebp/20090129_fat/photo01.htm

P.S. Pictures 30, 41, 47 LOLZ!

Via: Best Week Ever

Telepathe - "So Fine"

2009-01-29T16:22:00.001-06:00

I could probably dance like that, but now it's cool 'cause they did it.

And I want Busy Gangnes' clothes please. Talk about Urbn.

"At this stage of my life, I'm a loser."

2009-01-29T16:12:00.002-06:00

Well, at least he admits it.

Again, I wish I had HBO.

Clone puppies!!!

2009-01-29T12:20:00.001-06:00

Creepy and cute at the same time. Yes, it's possible.

Via: Best Week Ever

Ugleh.

2009-01-28T12:06:00.001-06:00

That's all I can say looking at this picture. It makes me angry too, although I'm not 100% sure why. Maybe because I don't like Mishca Barton? Kanye's OK though.

Eat a sandwich, bitch.

Via: Best Week Ever

Great. Now this reminds me of the internette.

2009-01-28T10:23:00.001-06:00

I guess I'm in a Tim and Eric mood. Still high of their show Saturday night. I'll post pictures later.

Real Business Hugs?

2009-01-28T08:08:00.001-06:00

Best Google street view ever. Hands down.

2009-01-27T20:40:00.001-06:00

Via: Film Drunk

Weird. But intriguing.

2009-01-27T20:35:00.001-06:00

Via: Gorilla vs. Bear

Almost makes you WANT to be abducted by a stranger

2009-01-27T20:27:00.001-06:00

Hilarious. Unnecessary.

Via: Everything Is Terrible

What I'm pondering today: Why did Mickey Rourke fuck up his face?

2009-01-27T16:15:00.002-06:00

To be honest, I haven't really noticed his past hotness until recently, since when he was most popular I was like, 6 or 7. Boys had cooties then.

But now that I'm older, and obviously talk about his face's dramatic change is in the news since the release of "The Wrestler," I've definitely taken notice.

Take this photo for example:

Wowie-wow-wow! He's hot stuff! Or, I mean, he WAS hot stuff.

And this:

HOLY GOD this is hot. Not only is his face NOT fucked up, but he's got a great body to match it.

Now comes the hard part:

AHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD!!! WHY, GOD, WHY!!!

OK, I'm alright now. Whew. But still, why did that happen? It's pretty obvious he had plastic surgery, but people keep saying it has to do with the drugs he was doing. Since when do drugs turn you in The Joker sans the makeup? Unless he spilled cooking meth on his face, I just don't get it. It's really a shame.

Arcade Fire covers "Born In The USA"

2009-01-27T14:43:00.002-06:00

Nice rendition. Please excuse the tone deaf drunken camera guy. It almost ruins the song if you pay attention to it.

Via: Stereogum

Animal Collective - "My Girls"

2009-01-27T14:40:00.001-06:00

Great song. So-so video. I guess I expected a bit better than this, not that anything's wrong with it, just... boring.